Therapy & Coaching for Autism, Asperger's, ADHD
  • Home
  • Autism/Asperger's
  • ADHD/ADD
    • Adult ADHD
    • Child ADHD
  • Couples Counseling
  • CBT
  • Coaching
    • Parent Coaching
  • Hypnotherapy
  • Consultation
  • Blog
  • Contact Me
    • About Me
    • FAQ
  • Current Clients
  • Resources

Social Skills for Adults

3/19/2010

 
Frequently, kids on the autism spectrum attend social skills classes. There, kids are taught the basics of getting along with others, things like making good eye contact, respecting others' personal space, the rules of give and take in conversation. Usually, after a few months or sometimes a couple of years of these sessions, the members move on to other activities and social skills training formally ends. (When I talk with adults with ASDs, they often complain bitterly about how much they hated these classes and how they didn’t learn what they needed from them.)

But we all, kid or adult, need good social skills to get along with others, and everyone needs to have supportive relationships. That requires a lot more than the basics taught in children’s social skills classes. So how can adults on the spectrum improve their social skills?

Sometimes, adults are lucky enough to find a support group where they can interact with others who might be willing to practice some skills, give honest feedback, or even just be patient with those whose social skills might be a bit off. If you’re lucky enough to live near one of these groups they can be a great source of both support and a learning environment. Other adults find a partner or close family member who can help with interpreting the more precise situations. For many adults on the spectrum, a parent, sibling, or partner really functions as a social skills coach. (For an example of this, read Mozart and the Whale, reviewed in a previous post, where a married couple, both with Asperger’s, demonstrate how they use their relationship to improve their skills. Each learns to pay attention to the other’s signals, manage their tempers and respect each other’s boundaries throughout the course of their relationship.)
Picture
For people without the advantages of close relationships, there are still ways to learn these skills. One option is to hire a coach or therapist. These professional relationships are specifically designed to provide that detailed feedback in a safe setting. It can be very different from interacting in a give and take two way friendship. But not everyone is comfortable about working with a professional, and that’s where books can help.
Picture
Michael Yapko’s Depression Is Contagious: How the Most Common Mood Disorder Is Spreading Around the World and How to Stop It is all about how social relationships are crucial in preventing depression. Yapko argues that our modern culture is failing us with its emphasis on instant gratification, personal fulfillment, technology and acquisition, all at the expense of good relationships with others. Throughout the book, Yapko presents the skills he finds most important in establishing and maintaining good relationships, things like setting good personal boundaries, analyzing character before starting relationships, and how to manage conflict. The book has little self help exercises throughout, called “Learn by Doing” and “Pause and Reflect” where the reader can actually work on these skills individually. Although it’s not referred to as such, this book is really the closest thing I’ve read that could be considered a “Social Skills Book for Adults”. If you’re looking for a way to improve your relationships, get along better with others, and manage both personal and professional interactions, check out a copy of Depression Is Contagious.

Comments are closed.
    Picture

    Patricia Robinson MFT

    I'm a licensed therapist in Danville, California and a coach for Asperger's and ADHD nationwide. I work with individuals of all ages who have special needs, like Autism Spectrum Disorders, ADD, ADHD, and the family members and partners of special needs individuals.

    ​I'm also an engineer, with two degrees from MIT and over a decade working in high tech corporations.

    I work hard to help you solve problems and make a difference in your life.

    Archives

    February 2015
    November 2014
    September 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    October 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    December 2011
    October 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009
    November 2009
    October 2009
    September 2009
    August 2009
    July 2009
    June 2009
    May 2009
    April 2009
    March 2009
    February 2009
    January 2009
    December 2008
    November 2008
    October 2008
    September 2008
    August 2008
    July 2008
    June 2008
    May 2008
    April 2008
    March 2008

    Categories

    All
    Anxiety And Depression
    Bay Area Local
    Books
    College And Career Issues
    Dating And Marriage And Sex
    Executive Function
    For Parents
    Movies And TV
    Online Resources
    Social And Emotional

    RSS Feed

Patricia Robinson MFT
(925) 915-0924
9000 Crow Canyon Road Suite S-284
Danville, CA 94506
patricia@patriciarobinsonmft.com
​
Material on this website is for informational and/or educational purposes only and is not intended to provide or be a substitute for professional services. Use of this website does not establish a therapeutic relationship.              
Copyright 2013 Patricia Robinson MFT All rights reserved.  
Privacy Policy  Terms of Use 
  • Home
  • Autism/Asperger's
  • ADHD/ADD
    • Adult ADHD
    • Child ADHD
  • Couples Counseling
  • CBT
  • Coaching
    • Parent Coaching
  • Hypnotherapy
  • Consultation
  • Blog
  • Contact Me
    • About Me
    • FAQ
  • Current Clients
  • Resources