Working for a Boss on the Autism Spectrum

5/21/2013

Back in 2008, I posted about working for a boss with Asperger’s. Now, more than three years later, I’m still getting comments on that post, mostly from employees complaining about the difficulties, but also trying to be productive with their boss with Asperger’s.

I like to focus this blog on the positives, and ways to make difficult situations better. The reality is that both neurotypicals and those on the Autism Spectrum are usually trying to do a good job, get along with each other, and communicate effectively. But, differences in expectations, communication style, and social behaviors can mean a lot of frustration on both ends, as well as less than optimal work from the team.

Of course, diversity in the workplace is an advantage to any team, and the Autism Spectrum brings strengths as well as difficulties. Work teams can benefit from the goal directed focus, strong work ethic and loyalty, and straightforward approaches common to those on the spectrum. Neurotypicals can learn to adjust their behavior to those on the spectrum, just as people with autism have been having to adjust to neurotypicals all this time.

Tha's why I’m asking any adults on the autism spectrum to comment here, or send me an email. How can neurotypicals help make the workplace more autism accepting? For bosses on the spectrum, how can your employees work best to fit your needs and make your organizations most effective?

Thanks in advance for your comments!

15 Comments

robert dorsey

10/31/2020 12:44:29 am

i'm looking for an article where someone describes how difficult working for a boss who has aspergers. they are impossible. they are bullies. they invade your space. they are passive aggressive, sneaky, and mean spirited.they terrorize their employees. they are toxic. healthy, constructive communication? not a chance. ever. i know lifes not fair-but working for someone w/aspergers will destroy anything good in you. its undescribable. they know every sick, twisted, evil way to get their way. so come on by building resources in s.f. and witness for yourself a demoralized,unhealthy workplace. nothing is worse than an "aspie" with "rank".theres nothing anyone can do to change the situation.what a drag.

Anonymous

5/9/2021 09:43:16 pm

Wow do you work with me? You literally describe how I feel every day. It made me tear up because I know feel validated in my feelings how awful it is. Management is not for them. Period. They're never wrong. Always their way. Rigid. Always the victim. It's exhausting. I have sever anxiety with work now.

IT_Hero

5/12/2021 05:49:04 pm

Damn, That's messed up. My boss is on the spectrum and while he can be difficult at times. I wouldn't ever call him evil or even mean spirited.
"they are impossible. they are bullies. they invade your space. they are passive aggressive, sneaky, and mean spirited."
That sound like many co-workers I know without Asperger's. The fact that you are "looking for an article where someone describes how difficult working for a boss who has aspergers." Tell me all I need to know. You're looking for an echo chamber to enforce your own negative views. If your boss is like that, I don't think it because of his/hers Aspergers, put likely a response to working with people like you.

ABH

7/1/2021 03:04:30 pm

Same i really like my boss a lot. He can even be very sweet in his own way. I have however worked for very intense narcissists and they can be very sneaky and mean.
I wouldn't blame the autism! :(

10/19/2021 07:23:30 am

I’m a boss with high functioning autism. I might have to retire early simply because of how employees view me. Why are we discriminated against for having a disability. It’s really disheartening to hear all the mean stuff the employee comments above say about their boss. I just want to go into a cave and not have to talk to anyone. I’m so disappointed people can be so mean to me and make accusations about my intentions simply because my brain does not comprehend or function the same as others. On top of that I have a rare debilitating disease which only compounds the situation. Autism is a comorbidity of this disease. There is no compassion for us and it is abuse to keep saying mean things that we are when in fact that is not our intentions in our heart or brain. I’m very talented and good at what I do, but people simply can’t stand me. I’m only 44 and need to continue to work to support myself. Because of my disability/ disease owning my own business is the only option for me. I do need some employees for this business to operate. As my disease gets worse as it is a digressive disease so does my ability to communicate and function amongst people. As a boss you are just a bad person to your employees. Someday in heaven they will know how accusing me of all the mean stuff was wrong as I’m guessing in heaven people will get a glimpse into what it’s like to be another person. I don’t imagine while I’m alive I will get any kind of understanding or compassion.

Stephanie

5/28/2021 08:04:17 pm

Wow you just described my supervisor! Im
100% he is on the spectrum

Cherie Silver link

9/28/2021 05:53:13 am

Thanks for sharing. I totally got your fab description of working with an aspie boss.
I started to feel sick on any interaction with mine - so I prayed - please God - help me to see my boss in a kind way. Fast forward a couple of months - she seems easier to work with and I don’t fear her like I once did. 🤗

Ajita Kaput

4/3/2021 02:10:03 pm

Though the prior comment “lacks compassion,” appears politically incorrect, perhaps ill informed and vengeful... reminiscent Of the AS retort after being called out on a rude comment...” but it’s true.” It is...true. In my experience. If you are AS And have secured a meaningful and rewarding job, please keep it and do not go into management. There are many AS people that would concede this point.

5/12/2021 05:56:22 pm

Here is a new Idea. Don't be so damn thin skinned. I would rather have a Blunt and honest opinion from someone, then nice and pleasant bullshit. You're an adult, try to act like it. Coddling is for children and the infirm.

7/1/2021 03:08:08 pm

Same! I'd rather have someone be blunt with me than give me a load of bullshit. I value authenticity. Even if someone is difficult, I'd rather them be upfront, I can work with that! I feel bad folks with autism are getting a bad name. I have bipolar disorder and everyone knows claims that I don't because i'm so kind and nice... people need to stop stigmatizing things. Some folks are just jerks and it doesn't have anything to do with these labels.

5/19/2021 03:17:19 pm

I have a boss, a husband and a child on the spectrum. I cannot imagine how difficult it is to navigate through a world that is neurologically different than how you are hardwired. I can also empathize with the emotional injury that other employees have expressed.

It's important to appreciate that all humans are more neurologically diverse than we realize. And it's compassionate to match your expectations and approach to your fellow colleagues abilities, and vice versa.
Our own emotional growth, chosen outlets for validation and self-worth have to be better thought through than to lay it at the feet of someone who can't help their ways. We wouldn't get upset with a wheelchair-bound person for not walking, nor would we say, just stay off the sidewalk. I have to remind myself of this truth each time I feel demoralized at work, not easy but I am growing.

7/1/2021 03:01:24 pm

I really enjoy my boss with Autism (taking a guess as that is not shared). He's an attorney and I'm his legal assistant. He had some rough relationships in the past but I'm also not a neurotypical, although mine is not autism. I really appreciate his straight forward no BS manner. He needs some help with things like he has to have certain supplies and can't have certain mediums/or certain noises/sensations he can't interact with. Folks can be a bit judgmental of him that don't know him as well or expect him to be a certain way but I try to always vouch for his great characteristics when people bring up how hard he must be to work for. He's really not and I enjoy it even more so than other folks I work for. I'm glad we are a good team! I was searching for articles to help give some insight into what he might need or not want. He had a big loss recently.

Agnes

8/21/2021 02:46:03 pm

I started working for a new manager in the past 3 days. I do have some educational knowledge with autism, but never experienced them as a superior. I believe, my manager is on the spectrum. He seems nice, but I have noticed the passive-aggressive personality, lacks empathy & fakes to be a positive upbeat enthusiastic manager. He doesn’t appreciate creativity & expects “his way” is the only correct method. He doesn’t communicate clear instructions. It’s very bullet points without any clarification of what he wants the outcome to be. Of course, you don’t discover his expectations until you are actively conducting the project through criticism of you are doing is wrong & he is way is the only right way. It’s all black & white, no grey. I’ve been in executive management for over 25 years, and he should not have been considered in management because what I mentioned above. His “my way or the high way” is definitely demoralizing, create a hostile work environment and not team-oriented.
Unfortunately, he is my manager and I need some insights of how to be able to communicate / cope with a manager that has the power to make or break your employment career.

Mat

8/29/2021 03:17:09 am

A lot of these comments are negatively reinforcing damaging ASD stereotypes in management.

It’s almost as if people are guessing that their manager lives with Aspergers and attributing their manager’s perceived negativity as them being on the spectrum.

People need to learn to take ownership of their own problems and not look for unfounded reasons as to why they are having workplace issues.

The main, top comment here was riddled with spelling errors, had poor grammar, and sounded like a person who lives with a constant victim mentality.

Deb

9/27/2021 10:37:21 pm

Hello,
Just like people shouldn't blame difficult work situations on their boss being on the spectrum, people shouldn't be critical of someone who is having a difficult time with a person in a authority position who's on the spectrum. My daughter has a job that she absolutely loves, but finds herself mentally beaten down at the end of her shifts by her employer that not only talks down to her in front of customers but insults her abilities and yells at her every time she makes a mistake. She has tried to ask him why he talks to her that way and asked if he realizes he scolds her in front of customers and asked him to "please don't talk to me like that." Regardless if the comment above is riddled with errors it doesn't mean its not how she feels about her situation and just like I said previously she shouldn't be judged or called a victim until you have walked in her shoes.

Working for a Boss on the Autism Spectrum

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Patricia Robinson MFT

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